Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Baby Jones is 16 Weeks and Its a...


I got the call yesterday from my big sis and it looks like they are having a baby girl!! She is currently 16 weeks and about 6 oz right now. Everything looks great and I couldn't be happier to have a new niece in September/October. When I talked to my sister I told her now you won't only hear "I can't believe your pregnant but will also hear I can't believe your pregnant and having a girl" from me! Girls totally run in our family so I'm not surprised, Natalee called it right from the beginning but I was thinking perhaps it will be a boy this time.

I swear every person that I know who's either pregnant or just had a baby its been girls. I'm thinking 2009 is the year of the girl and perhaps 2010 will be the year of the boy. There's been some whispering between Natalee and I perhaps getting pregnant after her wedding so we'll see. While I wouldn't mind having another girl it would be great to have one of each. There's still a lot of time between now and October so if its not 2010 for us it better be 2011! ;o)

CONGRATULATIONS Jason and April...let the pink begin!!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Happy Place

I really don't know where to begin with this blog entry. I started a post a couple of weeks ago that I'm really happy I never finished. It was about me being utterly disgusted with myself and the terrible decisions that I've made and just simply not being able to let go. Don't get me wrong because I have had the best husband and life ever since we reconnected as adults almost 9 years ago but there have been certain things just eating me alive that he just couldn't fix. Unfortunately I've let these things affect me in so many ways that I just realized the only way for me to move on is to face the facts and understand that there's no way for me to change the past. The things that have occurred in the past have to be looked at as lessons I've learned that I can pass on to Addison. I'm sure some of you would like a taste of what I'm talking about and I'm more than happy to share.
I feel that when I was very young, late teens and up until before having Addison that I really let my drinking get out of control. I let ALOT of friendships get away from me, I wasn't able to take my first 2 years of college seriously and I just didn't take life in general seriously. I would do so many things differently but perhaps without going through these speed bumps I wouldn't be the mother I am today. Addison has opened my eyes to so many things and when she gets old enough I will thank her for that. Honestly, I think I say thank you every night when I put her to bed because she is the most amazing thing that John and I actually created.
I'm so happy to say that I've reconnected with some great friends that were let go due to my insecurities back when I was younger. More importantly though I have made some great friends that I know I will never let them go no matter what as well as trying to reconnect with old friends that I just let go. I never truly understood the importance of having friends until people that I really like and share the same interests became a huge part of my life but more importantly my happiness. Friendships have always been really hard for me and I don't really know why. Natalee has always been my best friend but I did have a really great friend when I went to Western who was considered a best friend that I let slip away. I have no idea what happened and how it got to the point where we didn't talk for 9 years but for the last several years she's all I thought about (sounds cheesy I know). Wondering what her life is like, what she's up to, does she miss our friendship too, just all these questions and I didn't do anything about it. Thanks to Facebook we've been able to reconnect and the next time I'm in Michigan I am going to give her a big hug and thank her for always being there for me when we were friends and I know why she eventually had to push me away. I love you Amanda! Its sounds so weird but this was a huge chunk of my life that I just couldn't get past. I have no idea why but us reconnecting has really lifted a boulder off my chest.
Life just couldn't be any better. I am beyond excited about my best friend (aka lil sis) getting married and still amazed that my big sis is having a baby. I love my family so much and I just feel like the small pieces that were missing in my life puzzle are finally fitting. I'm starting to actually get "it". Its time for me to move on from my past and focus on the future because before I know it Addison is going to be my age and I hope to God she's not living with 1 ounce of regret.
Ok, this is what's been on my mind. I know a lot of people have been bugging me about not blogging for a while and this is why I haven't. I just feel like I have so much to say and putting it into words has been difficult but the main thing I can honestly say "I'm in a really happy place within myself"!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009