Wednesday, April 16, 2014

What is Your Purpose? Such a deep question...

Holy crap!  Life has been quite interesting since my last post.  I decided to take a step back, let life move around me, clear my head of all the negatives and just reflect on the really happy moments I'm presently living.  I'll have to tell you...overall its helped the tightness in my chest to feel a little looser, my shoulders are starting to drift back down to where they should be rather than the tightness I'm constantly feeling from stress and most importantly my brain is being filled with positive thoughts of what my future holds.  Don't get me wrong, I am human and as I've said before an emotional person, but its never felt better to actually let myself be happy.

I've been doing a lot of soul searching and have come across a couple of people that have really opened my eyes to life.  I'll write briefly on who exactly these people are in a minute, but what these people all have in common to me is there passion for life and how they share this passion to help others. 

What I've been struggling with on a personal level is trying to find my purpose and what exactly was I put on this earth to do.  Why did God choose me to represent this body and more importantly give me this incredible feeling of wanting to change the world?  I know its such a silly question, but if you truly think about this question are you able to answer it?  I know I'm a wife, a mother, a person with an awesome family, I'm super awesome when it comes to working on Word documents, I'm a hard worker but the thing I know I'm really good at is having the ability to care about all people.  Whenever I leave the house I make sure to wear a smile on my face hoping its contagious and perhaps even change a strangers day simply because a lady in the grocery store showed her pearly whites and said "hello".  Obviously thinking about my purpose can be answered in so many ways as I've listed above, but the fire that is burning inside just simply isn't letting me stop at the roles I'm currently serving.  I know I can be and do more and I'm not going to stop searching for this "other" role. 

I recently read "Carry On, Warrior", by the beautiful most amazing Glennon Melton.  Once again, holy crap this book has changed my life.  Glennon not only wrote this gorgeous book, but she also has one of the most intriguing blogs I've ever read (  I'm beyond in love with Glennon to say the least.  I've been following her blog for a while and wanted to get her book since it came out about a year ago, but kind of put it to the side knowing I'll look into what she's all about when I have the time.  Well, Glennon fell hard into my life at the best time possible.  With all the feelings I've been dealing with and the thoughts of doubt about myself, I decided the time was now and checked out her blog a little closer and had a total hmmm...moment.  I couldn't believe what I was reading,  the things she was writing about was exactly what I needed to hear.  I love how she expresses that life is hard, but we are not alone, this is how she explains her view of life "Everybody is going through something in their life and Life is brutal. But it’s also beautiful. Brutiful, I call it. Life’s brutal and beautiful are woven together so tightly that they can’t be separated. Reject the brutal, reject the beauty. So now I embrace both, and I live well and hard and real."  As a woman who felt I was doing everything right and then one day wake up and feel like "ohh god, I suck", it was really helpful to read "Carry On, Warrior" to understand that I really don't suck, I'm just still trying to figure things out and need to work on letting my guard down and more than anything enjoy life a little more.

One of the perks to reading an awesome blog daily you also get to learn about other people that are changing lives one way or another.  After reading I came across the name Lewis Howes.  Glennon had done an amazing entry on this gentleman and of course since I'm so in love with her and she was talking about him I had to check out his work.  Once again I was blown away.  Lewis does a blog which includes a podcast "The School of Greatness" with whoever he is talking about (  His podcast tend to be around an hour long and I'll tell you, I've listened to 3 just in a day (shh...don't tell John).  Listening to his podcast that was on today and the some other previous ones continued to help me shed the many layers of insecurity I continue to hold.  I'm always finding myself to think of some great ideas of what I want to do, but then I immediately think of every possible reason why this idea can't simply be good.  I'm learning to start to trust myself and believe that I am special and I can do special things to change people's lives.  I enjoyed learning new things about Lewis that would normally look at him and think "he's got it all and how in the world could he have any possible things to worry about"?  That's the problem that I face.  Most people I meet think I have it all, my life is exactly what they would want and I much really have all my ducks in a row.  However, its all just an act.  Obviously I want people to think that my life is amazing and I have crap together, but in real life nobody truly has all their crap together.  This is what I'm learning, nobody is perfect especially me.  At the end of each podcast he asks "What is your definition of Greatness"?  Of course I took some time and thought I would take a stab at what I think is my definition of greatness.  My definition of greatness would have to be living a life full of love for all people and executing my dream to help under privilege children that deserve to have a bright and successful future.  No child should be left behind simply because they come from poverty.

After checking out Lewis Howes blog I stumbled upon a person that both Lewis and Glennon have raved about and this is Adam Braun.  Adam started a charity called Pencils of Promise, "PoP brings life-changing education to children around the world by building quality schools and sustainable education programs" (  Adam is not your average charity founder, listening to his story and finding out what his vision for this charity actually opened my eyes in a crazy way.  He finds that many charities out there go out and ask for money to help fund their program, but he takes his charity a step further with wanting people to actually be involved.  Rather than someone handing over $50 and walking away thinking "ok, I did my good deed for the day" its more of a "wait, don't you want me to show you what I'm doing with your money"?  He does something like no other charity and actually keeps his website updated with information such as what was spent where and how perhaps this $50 has continued to help build schools that are so desperately needed.  He posts pictures of the children/community that are being helped along with staff members that are making sure these schools are changing lives and moving forward.  Its pretty emotional to see that something Adam thought would just be 1 school has now turned into over 200.  If that doesn't inspire someone I don't know what does.  Adam explains he was an average guy that had the chance to see the world, what it was lacking and actually jump in to make a difference in children's lives that are suffering due to poverty.  This guy is seriously mind blowing and listening to his story on the podcast will make you look at charities in a whole different light (!

So, I know I've put way too much information on this post, but I simply had to share the amazing stuff that's going on around us.  3 different people really doing 3 different kinds of things to help make our world a better place, yet having one common goal in change people's lives.  Nothing feels better than to help people in any type of capacity.  Its time to take a step outside my comfort zone and figure out how am I going to fulfill my dream to change people's lives while also keeping that tough question of what is my purpose?