Thursday, May 8, 2014

Comfort Zone was Disrupted...I got through it

I was approached by my husband via email on Friday at 3pm asking if I could help his company do an audit on a new property they are interested in acquiring.  When I first read his email I was totally stoked, thinking "hell yeah"!  Then I read more into the email realizing it would be all day Tuesday and possibly Wednesday.  My heart sank and anxiety kicked in.  This sounds totally silly right?  Ok, listen.  As most of you know I'm huge into planning, having things organized and most importantly I need "time" to digest.  I had already reached out to Addison's school letting them know that I could volunteer to help walk the kids a mile over to their swimming classes, Brody is home on Tuesday, I pick up several kids in the afternoon from school, Addison has swim practice on Tuesday at 4:30 and most importantly...I decided to start training for a 1/2 marathon that I'm majorly dedicated too so this was going to throw off my gym time.  Just like that, in an instant my excitement to say "yes" turned into me needing an extra anxiety pill.

My husband is no fool when it comes to his crazy wife, he's been around for a VERY long time.  As soon as he got home we discussed this further and simply said "babe, I got this".  He already thought everything through and had a game plan that passed my inspection.  Luckily our previous daycare provider was able to take Brody all day on Tuesday and my husband stepped in at 2pm to take care of all my afternoon/evening mom duties (we decided to skip swim practice since Addi was already swimming earlier that day).  I worked from 9-6 on Tuesday with no anxiety (other than I knew I had to run to Party City after this long day to pick up items for the teacher luncheon the next day), I walked into the house with John cooking dinner and found that life moved forward even though I wasn't there to be the one to handle it all!  Unfortunately since I didn't get all the work done on Tuesday I had to go back on Wednesday, once again my amazing husband stepped right in and drove Brody to school in order for me to get back to the audit.  Luckily it was only a 1/2 day of working and I was able to conduct my afternoon as normal.

I had no idea how important this whole "stay at home mom" job really meant to me.  I'm always thinking how I would love to go back to work even if its part-time for some extra money and I can't tell you the countless times that I'm home with the kids thinking "holy crap I need to get a fricken job...this sucks".  After this episode I'm realizing, umm this actually doesn't suck.  How lucky am I to have the opportunity to pick up my kids from school everyday?  How lucky am I to have the opportunity to volunteer at my kids school anytime I want?  How lucky am I to have the opportunity to basically make my own schedule and get things done that most working moms have to do on their lunch hour or on the weekends?  I honestly have it made!  I'm realizing more and more that money isn't everything.  Yes it would be awesome to have that extra income to help us when its time for shopping or those rainy days when everything falls apart, but I'll never get this time back that I spend with my kids.  I've realized, I don't want anyone else taking care of them when they are out of school and I enjoy getting to know the teachers and staff at the schools because I'm there so often.  I truly feel beyond blessed that I have this chance to do what I do.  There's times that I'm down on myself because I wish I could bring money to the table, but when I pick up my kids after school receiving a big hug and kiss and them telling me they missed me...there's just simply no monetary value you can put on that.

Last night Addison and I were talking and she asked me "mommy do you have to go back to daddy's work tomorrow?"  I explained no I was done with what he needed help with.  She then said "Ohh good, I really don't like it when you work."  I laughed because she's always asking me to get a job so she can go to after school camp, which of course I brought that up and she confirmed "well, I changed my mind.  I like having you come to my school and picking me up."  She melted my heart and while I was melting I realized, yup...I'm doing exactly what I was meant to do.  Isn't funny how often times you have to be reminded that what you are doing IS impacting someone one way or another.  My heart is full and my anxiety level is back to "normal" for now!